Is It Love Or Lust?
When I think of a man I want to be with, I think of someone in shape and into sports. My ideal guy has to be active, good looking, confidant, and have some kind of ambition in life other than partying and hanging out in trendy clubs.
I'm okay with guys who are just looking for a good time; I'm not looking for anything serious either, but lately I've had such poor luck with the quality of men I've been dating that my friends started calling me a loser magnet. I joined an online dating site because I was willing to do anything to break the pattern of drunks and self absorbed idiots I'd dated over the last couple of months.
I'd never tried a dating service before, and for the most part I didn't think I ever would, not a traditional one anyway. What got me hooked was the idea of just fucking someone without all the baggage of a relationship. It doesn't make me wet to think about going on a date with someone who describes themselves as "looking for that special someone," but just the thought of having an anonymous one night-stand with some stud with rock hard abs and a big cock gets my heart racing.
Best intentions are one thing though. My losing streak didn't with my first Internet lover, although the quality of loser improved a bit. The first guy I met though the Net called himself Jason and he was a spoiled little rich boy. He was sexy enough and he had a lot of charm, but what I will remember most about him was having sex on his front lawn after a party and getting caught by his girlfriend. He was fun, and I'm not even mad about him lying about having a girlfriend. I'm just upset he was dumb enough to take me back to his place where he lived with this girl. I mean, come on, "She wasn't supposed to be home," isn't a good enough reason to risk going there. I'd even offered to go back to my place. What an idiot. I'm lucky I got out of there without getting into a huge fight, and the whole experience isn't a pleasant memory.
It was funny to see him squirm though as he begged her for forgiveness from his girlfriend while tucking his still erect cock in his pants. What even made it worse was he tried calling me later to make another date, basically using the same lines on me that he told her the night we got caught! Even though he was rich and gorgeous, there are limits to what I'm willing to put up with. You know, if he just said something like, "I don't care, all I want is a sexual relationship" I'd have gone on a second date, but I don't have patience for mind games with morons.
The second guy I met though the Net I'll call Mike and he's broken my losing streak. He's a college guy, a business major and he plays volleyball for his school. He's everything I look for in a guy and I'm still seeing him. It's been almost a month and we're not exclusive or anything, but I think I want to try to make it one. It's weird, when I'm not looking for a boyfriend I find one, and when I'm looking for one I find nothing but losers.
Mike is not only incredibly sexy, he's just fun to be around. Of course, most of the time when we're together we're having sex, but even I can admit it's because I have a high sex drive and I want to do it all the time! We fuck everywhere; we can't keep our hands off each another. Sometimes he comes over to pick me up for a date and we end up fucking on my kitchen table before we head out- or not even making it out the door at all. One knowing look between us is all it takes to have me on my knees pulling his beautiful cock out. I've done things with Mike that I swore I'd never do for a man, and our whole relationship revolves around pushing each other to our limits. I've actually never felt this way about any guy.
It's like he's in control all the time, yet he somehow makes it seem like I'm the one that initiates everything. Like last week, we were playing tennis at his friend's house and it turned into a grudge match. We played for sexual favors on a dare- my idea. I ended up losing and giving him a blowjob in the middle of the court, the whole time worried about getting caught by a bunch of his friends who were also at the house. We did get caught, but just as his friends noticed us Mike came in my mouth and I swallowed while they looked on with awe. The weirdest thing was that it turned me on to have an audience like that. After the show we went up to a guest bedroom and fucked for an hour.
Mike has also been really good with introducing me to new toys. Last week he brought over a glass dildo and heated it up in a bowl of hot water before fucking me with it. I was really nervous because it was rather large, but I had an endless number of orgasms that night. It's no wonder I give in to every request he has, they always work out for me!
I know Mike probably has a lot of lovers that he's met through the Net, maybe it's the reason that I find myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do- you know, some unconscious understanding of my competition. I suppose if I lost him I'd find another guy just as fast, but sometimes things work out in relationships that are beyond our control. I don't really know if I'm feeling the way I am because it's love or if it's just lust, but one thing is certain- it's a wild ride.
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