Is It Love Or Lust?
When I think of a guy that I want to be with, I think of someone in shape and into sports. My ideal man has to be active, good looking, confidant, and have some kind of ambition in life other than partying and hanging out in trendy clubs.
I'm ok with guys that are just looking for a good time; I'm not looking for anything serious either, but lately I've had such poor luck with the quality of the men I've been dating that my friends started calling me a loser magnet. When I discovered Adult Friend Finder I joined right away because I was willing to do anything to break the pattern of drunks and self absorbed idiots that I'd dated over the last couple of months.
I'd never tried a dating service before, and for the most part I don't think I ever would, not a traditional one anyway. I love how Adult Friend Finder specializes in casual affairs. It's a lot more useful than some stupid site for finding your true love. I mean seriously, does it make me wet to think about going on a date with someone that describes themselves as being, "cute and cuddly" or "looking for that special someone?" Fuck no. Shit like that make me want to puke. I want a guy with hard abs and a cock that can fuck for hours.
My losing streak didn't with my first Internet lover, although the quality of loser improved a bit. The first guy I met though the Net was Jason. He was a spoiled little rich boy, but he was very sexy and we had some great times together. However, what I will remember most about him was having sex on his front lawn after a party and getting caught by his regular girlfriend.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend but I didn't really care. It was funny to see him squirm though as he begged her for forgiveness while tucking his still erect cock in his pants. Then when she left he had the nerve to try the exact same lines on me. Even though he was rich and gorgeous there are limits to the bullshit I'm willing to put up with. You know, if he just said something like, "I don't care, all I want is a sexual relationship" I would still be with him. I don't have patience for mind games with idiots.
The second guy was Mike and he's broken the streak. He's a college guy, a business major and he plays volleyball for his school. He's everything I look for in a guy and I'm still seeing him. It's been almost a month and we're not exclusive or anything, but I think I want to try to make it one. It's weird, when I'm not looking for a boyfriend I find one, and when I'm looking for one I find nothing but losers. Well, there are no guarantees, but I've never had sex that was so fulfilling.
We do it everywhere; we can't keep our hands off of one another. I've done things with Mike that I swore I'd never do for a man. I've never felt this way about any guy. It's like he's in control all the time, yet he somehow makes it seem like I'm the one that initiates everything. Like last week, we were playing tennis and somehow it turned into a grudge match and we played for sexual favours on a dare.
I was the first one to bring up the dare and it's not really like me. The conversation and the game of tennis just naturally progressed to letting him pull down my panties and fuck me from behind in the middle of the court. What's even weirder is that I had an orgasm with his cock inside me- usually I only come when I'm getting eaten out.
I know Mike probably has a lot of lovers that he's met through the Net, maybe it's the reason that I find myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do- you know, some unconscious understanding of my competition. I suppose if I lost him I'd find another guy just as fast, but sometimes things work out in relationships that are beyond our control. I don't really know if I'm feeling the way I am because it's love or if it's just lust, but one thing is certain- it's a wild ride.
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