Looking For Lust
When I fantasize about a guy that I want to be with, I think of someone in shape and into sports. My ideal man has to be active, good looking, confidant, and have some kind of ambition in life other than partying and hanging out in trendy clubs. I don’t even mind if a guy is twenty years older than I am (I‘m nineteen), just as long as he can keep up with me and hold my attention in and out of bed.
I'm ok with guys who are just out for a good time; I'm not looking for anything serious either, but for a long time I had such poor luck with men that my friends started calling me a loser magnet. It was funny, but sad because it was true. It’s no wonder that I went a little crazy when I discovered internet dating, because I was willing to do anything to break the pattern of drunks and self absorbed idiots I'd dated over the last couple of months.
I'd never tried a dating service before, and for the most part I don't think I ever would, not a traditional one anyway. Adult Friend Finder is my favorite because it specializes in casual affairs. It's a lot more useful than some stupid site for finding your true love. I mean seriously, does it make me wet to think about going on a date with someone that describes themselves as, "cute and cuddly" or "looking for that special someone?" Fuck no. Stuff like that makes me want to puke. I want a guy with hard abs and a mean cock who can fuck for hours.
My losing streak didn't with my first Internet lover, (or the second, third, or fourth,) although the quality of loser improved a bit. As an example, the first guy was very sexy and we had some great times together. However, what I will remember most about him was having sex on his front lawn after a party and getting caught by his regular girlfriend.
I was embarrassed, but it was funny to see him squirm as he begged her for forgiveness while tucking his still erect cock in his pants. Then he had the nerve to try the exact same lines on me. Even though he was rich and gorgeous, there are limits to what I’m willing to put up with. You know, if he just said something like, "I don't care, all I want is a sexual relationship" I’d probably still be with him. I don't have patience for mind games with idiots.
There were quite a few after that, and I enjoyed the sex, but I was very sure they were all married. I don’t mind fooling around with players, but married guys aren’t my thing. I almost gave up, and then I found Mike, my current boyfriend or ‘steady fuck buddy‘. Whatever I want to call him, he's broken my losing streak. He's in his mid thirties, recently divorced and honest about not looking for anything serious. He knows who he is and what he wants.
He's everything I look for in a guy and I'm still seeing him. It's been almost two months and we're not exclusive or anything, but I think I want to try to make it one. It's weird, when I'm not looking for a boyfriend I find one, and when I'm looking for one I find nothing but losers. Well, there are no guarantees, but I've never had sex so fulfilling as I‘ve had with Mike.
We do it everywhere; we can't keep our hands off of each other when we‘re together. I've done things with him that I swore I'd never do for any man, like swallowing his come and taking it up my ass. I even found myself saying ‘yes’ when he proposed a threesome with another woman. We haven’t found a suitable woman yet, but I know we will. I've never felt this way about any guy. It's like he's in control all the time, yet he somehow makes it seem like I'm the one that initiates everything.
I’ve also let him set up a camera and take pictures of us having sex. I know it’s not a wise thing to do, but he made it sexy. I don’t know for sure, but he probably has a lot of lovers that he's met through the Net, maybe it's the reason that I find myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do- you know, some unconscious understanding of my competition. I suppose if I lost him I'd find another guy just as fast, but sometimes things work out in relationships that are beyond our control. I don't really know if I'm feeling the way I am because it's love or if it's just lust, but one thing is certain- I‘m having a great time and since I introduced Mike to my friends, I’ve lost the nickname ‘loser magnet’.
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